Nicolai Levashov
About Spirit, Mind and many other things...
Svetlana de Rohan Levashov
Part 1. Childhood. Vol. 1. Awakening

37. Isidora-3. Meteora

I regained conciousness in a sinister cold basement intensely saturated with the cloying smell of blood and death...

My body had grown numb and ached, refusing to obey and "wake up", but my Soul soared in the light world of recollections, with the ease of a bird, snatching from my memory beloved faces and days of complete happiness when sorrow had not visited our life yet and there was no place for bitterness and pain in it. There, in that wonderful "gone" world, my adorable husband Girolamo still lived, Anna’s merry laughter rang like a silver bell, my dear tender mother softly smiled at me in the morning and my kind and light father patiently taught me the wisdom of Life. This world was happy and sunny, and my soul strived for it, flying as far away as possible never to return.

But wicked reality did not let me go for some reason. It pitilessly knocked on my fevered brain to wake it up, demanding my coming back "home". My dear and imperfect Earthly world called for help... Caraffa lived... And while he breathed, there would be no joy and light in our world.

It was time to return.

On deeply breathing I felt my stiffened physical body at last. Life unwillingly, drop by drop, came back into it. I had no choice but to be brave.

The silence in the room was dense, thundering and viscous. I found myself sitting in a rough wooden arm-chair. Without moving or opening my eyes, I tried not to show those who could possibly be present there that I had awakened. I felt everything perfectly and intently "looked" around, trying to determine what was happening.

I was slowly coming to myself and gradually remembering what had happened; I suddenly saw very clearly WHAT the real reason for my sudden and deep faint was!

Cold horror squeezed my numbed half-awakened heart with its sharp grip.

Father! My poor kind father was h e r e!!!, in this frightful bloody basement – this terrible den of horrific death... He had come next after Girolamo... He was dying. Caraffa’s ominous trap had shut down swallowing his pure Soul...

Being afraid to see something even more frightful, I, nevertheless, managed to gather my slipping away courage and lifted my head...

The first thing I saw right in front of me was Caraffa’s black eyes burning with deep interest. My father was not in the torture chamber.

Caraffa’s face expressed utter concentration. His inquisitive eyes were fixed on me, as if he tried to understand what was truly happening in my soul mercilessly mutilated by suffering... To my greatest surprise, his clever thin face expressed sincere agitation (!) which, nevertheless, he was not going to show me. On seeing that I regained consiousness, Caraffa instantly "put" on his usual indifferent mask and broadly smiling pronounced with feigned care:

– Oh, come on, Isidora! Why frighten all of us? I’d never thought that you could be so easily agitated! – And then added: – How beautiful you are, Madonna, even being so deeply unconcious!!!

I looked at him unable to say anything, and a wild anxiety clawed at my injured heart. Where is my father? What would Caraffa do to him?! Is he still alive? I could not look it through, because my emotions impeded me from seeing the reality, and the vision slipped away from me. At the same time I was extremely unwilling to ask Caraffa about it, because I did not wish to give him even the least possible pleasure. Besides, no matter what had happened, nothing could be changed. As for what should happen, I was sure; Caraffa would inform me immediately and with the greatest pleasure. Therefore I preferred to wait.

He was himself again – confident and "prickly". His recent "delight" and "concern" vanished without a trace. I think he was the most odd and unforeseeable human being in the world. His mood could change to the opposite in a few seconds, and he could sign your death sentence after giving the most pleasant compliment. He was unique in his unpredictability and he was perfectly aware of it...

– Have you forgotten how to talk, Madonna Isidora? For Goodness’ sake! Witches of Your "calibre" have to be much stronger! I always was sure about that. As far as I understand, you are considered a Warrior among them? In that case how could you swallow the bait of the simplest "human" emotions so easily? Your heart controls your reason, Isidora, which is impermissible for so strong a Witch as you! Don’t you, the gifted ones, have a rule: "always be single and cold, if there is a war? Don’t let your heart onto a "battle-field", or it destroys you". Aren’t those your precepts, Isidora?

– You are quite right, Your Holiness. But it does not mean that I fully agree with them. Sometimes love of a person or humanity can do wonders on a "battle-field", don’t you think so? Oh, pardon my naivety; I absolutely forgot that you are hardly familiar with these feelings. But, how well you remember our precepts, Your Holiness! Do you really hope to come back to Meteora some time? In fact the one, who gave you a "gift", has not been there for a long time; Meteora drove him out, just as it did you, did it not, Holiness?

Caraffa’s face turned mortally pale. His usual arrogance suddenly vanished and now he looked helpless and "naked". It seemed that he was desperately looking for a word and could not find it. Time stopped. The moment became dangerous – something had to happen right now... Every cell of my body felt the raging storm of his "black" anger mixed with fear, which was seemingly impossible to expect from Caraffa. What could this powerful wicked man be afraid of?

– How do you know it, Isidora? Who could tell you that?!

– Oh, there are "friends" and FRIENDS, like you usually say, Your Holiness! – I answered, intentionally provoking him. – Exactly FRIENDS told me everything I wanted to know about you, with only one difference, though. You see, you and I use different methods to get the information we need. I did not have to torture my friends. They me told everything I wanted with pleasure... And believe me, it is always much pleasanter! Except for cases when one is addicted to tortures, of course... As it seemed to me, you adore the smell of blood, Holiness, don’t you?

I gradually came to myself and felt my martial spirit coming back to me. Anyway, there was nothing to lose... It did not matter to Caraffa how pleasant I would be. He craved only one thing – to get answers to his questions. The rest was not important for him; except, maybe, for one thing – my complete and absolute submission. But he perfectly knew that it would never happen. Therefore I did not have to be either polite or even tolerable with him. And to tell the truth I sincerely and greatly enjoyed it.

– Don’t you want to know what happened to your father, Isidora? In fact you so strongly love him!

"Love!!!" He did not say – "loved"! And that meant that my father was still alive! I tried not to show my joy and said as calmly as possible:

– What is the difference, Holiness? You will kill him anyway! And it already does not matter, whether it happens sooner or later...

– Oh, you are so wrong, dear Isidora! It matters very much for anybody who gets into the basements of the Inquisition! You don’t even imagine how much...

Caraffa was again the "Caraffa", in other words – an ingenious tormentor which for the sake of achieving his aims was ready to watch the most atrocious human tortures and most frightful suffering of others with the greatest pleasure.

And now, with the interest of a gambler, he tried to find any breach in my consciousness whipped by pain to the highest degree, no matter what it could be – fear, malice or even love. He just wished to inflict a blow using whatever feeling could open a "door"...

But I resisted and did not yield. Probably it was my famous endless patience, which had amused everybody around me since I was very little, that helped me. My father once told me that I had been the most patient child that he and my mother ever saw and that it was extremely difficult, almost impossible, to find something that could drive me out of my wits. When others lost patience I still continued to say: "Never mind. Everything will be all right. We just have to wait a little bit." I believed in the positive outcome even when nobody did. Obviously Caraffa was unaware of exactly this feature of mine, despite being magnificently informed. Therefore my incomprehensible calmness which in fact was not calmness at all, but only my inexhaustible patience, grossly enraged him. I just could not allow his enjoyment of our deep and sincere pain, on having harmed us in so inhumanly wicked ways.

Although, frankly speaking, I could not explain to myself some of Caraffa’s behaviour which still remained a complete mystery to me.

On one hand, he seemed to be sincerely entranced by my unusual "talents", as if it truly mattered for him. And also he was always sincerely delighted by my "famous" natural beauty which the delight in his eyes confirmed every time we met. And at the same time Caraffa was strongly disappointed when he saw any defect or even the least imperfection which he discovered in me and any of my weaknesses or even the least mistake which I happened to make from time to time, like any other vivid human being, sincerely enraged him. Sometimes it even seemed to me that I unwittingly destroyed a non-existent ideal which he had created in his mind.

If I did not know him so well, I would be even inclined to believe that this incomprehensible and wicked man loved me in his own and very strange way.

But every time my exhausted brain came to such an absurd conclusion, I reminded myself that the matter concerned Caraffa! He did not have any pure or sincere feelings at all, let alone Love. It was rather his sense of ownership which found an expensive toy and wished to see in it no more and no less than perfection, the way he understood it. And if a tiny defect appeared in this toy, he was ready to throw it right into the fire.

– Can your spirit leave your body while you are alive, Isidora? – Caraffa’s next unusual question interrupted my sad thoughts.

– Of course, Your Holiness! It’s the simplest thing that a Vedun can do. Why are you interested in it?

– Your father uses it to avoid pain... – Caraffa pronounced thoughtfully. – Therefore, there is no sense in torturing him by ordinary means. But I shall find the way to get him talking, even if it takes more time than I had thought. He knows a great deal, Isidora, more than you can imagine, I think. He did not open even half of it to you! Don’t you really have any desire to know the rest?

– What for, Your Holiness?! – I said as calmly as possible, trying to hide my joy. – If he did not open something to me, it means that the time to know it has not come for me yet. Premature knowledge is very dangerous, Your Holiness. It can both help and kill. Therefore, one has to be extremely careful when teaching somebody. I think you should have known that. You in fact studied there, in Meteora, for some time.

– Nonsense!!! I am ready for everything! Oh, I have been ready for so long, Isidora! These fools just don’t see that I only need to get Knowledge and I can do much more than others, or even more than they!

Caraffa was terrible in his "DESIRE of the desired" and I understood that he would break down ANY barriers on his way to get the knowledge... Whether it will be me, my father or even little Anna, he will get what he wants, he will "knock" it out of us despite anything, as he had obviously gotten everything his insatiable brain aimed for, including his today's power, the visit to Meteora and, certainly, a lot of other things about which I preferred to be unaware in order not to loose hope of a victory over him. Caraffa was truly dangerous for humanity! His extremely mad "faith" in his "genius" exceeded any commonly accepted norms of the highest self-importance that ever existed and intimidated with its peremptoriness when the matter concerned the things which he craved and about which he had not the least idea, but only knew that he wanted them.

To cool him a little, I suddenly began to "melt" right before his "holy" eyes, and in an instant totally disappeared. This was a child's trick of the simplest "waft", as we called the instantaneous displacement from one place to another (I think they call it teleportation), but I had to take Caraffa down a peg or two. I was right... When I came back in a minute, his dumbfounded face expressed total confusion which not very many, I am sure, succeeded in seeing. The picture amused me so that I could not help laughing.

– We know many tricks, Your Holiness, but they are just tricks. KNOWLEDGE is completely different. It is a weapon, and what hands it gets into is very important.

But Caraffa did not listen. He was like a child charmed by what he just saw and immediately wanted to know about it! It was a new unknown toy which he had to have right now!!! Any delay is intolerable!

But on the other hand, he also was a very clever man, and despite the ardent desire to possess, he was, almost always, able to think. Therefore in few seconds his face began to darken and his widening black eyes stared at me asking a mute, but very persistent question, and I saw that he at last began to understand the real meaning of the little "trick" I had demonstrated...

– It means that you could easily "leave" all this time?! Why did not you leave, Isidora?!!! – He whispered almost breathless.

A wild and unrealizable hope, the source of which apparently was me, burned in his eyes... But as I answered, he saw that he had been wrong, and to my greatest surprise, the "iron" Caraffa wilted!!! For a moment it seemed to me that something broke inside him, as if he had just found and then lost something vitally important and maybe even dear to him.

– You see, life is not always so simple, as it seems to us or as we would like to see it, Your Holiness. Sometimes we consider the simplest thing to be the most correct and real, but, unfortunately, it is not always true. Yes, I could have gone long ago. But what would it change? You would find other "gifted" ones, who, certainly, would not be as strong as I am, and try to "knock" the knowledge you are interested in out of them. And these poor fellows would not have the slightest hope of resisting you.

– And you think that you have it, don’t you? – Caraffa asked with a sickly tension.

– Man is dead without hope, Your Holiness; as you can see, I am still alive. Hope will glimmer in me to the last instant of my life. You see, we witches, are very strange people.

– Well, I think, that is enough conversation for today! – Caraffa exclaimed with unexpected malice, and before I could get scared, added: – You will be taken to your rooms. See you soon, Madonna!

– But what about my father, Your Holiness? I want to be present at whatever you do to him, no matter how terrible it may be.

– Don’t worry, dear Isidora, I promise, you will see everything. It would not be so "amusing" without you! I am very glad that you conceived such a desire.

He complacently smiled, turned to the door, but suddenly remembered something and stopped:

– Tell me, Isidora, does the place from which you "disappear" matter?

– No, Your Holiness, it doesn’t. It’s not like passing through walls. I simply "melt" in one place and appear in another, if this explanation can give you a picture. – And I added to finish him off. – Everything is very simple, when you know how to do it... Holiness.

Caraffa devoured me with his black eyes for a moment more, then turned and quickly left the room, as if being afraid that I suddenly would stop him for some reason.

I perfectly understood why he asked the last question. From the minute he saw that I could disappear so easily, he raked his proud brain as to how he could "bind" me to something or put me behind stone walls from which I could never "fly" away... But my answer shattered his peace and quiet and my soul sincerely rejoiced at this little victory, because I knew that Caraffa would know no rest trying to think of the most reliable place he could hide me.

Certainly, those were only amusing moments which slightly distracted me from the terrible reality, but they helped to draw my attention from it for an instant even in Caraffa’s presence and not show how badly and deeply wounded I was at what was going on. I wanted to find a way out from our hopeless situation so much, wishing it with all the forces of my exhausted soul! But just my desire to defeat Caraffa was not enough. I had to understand what made him so strong and what the "gift" he had got in Meteora was and which I was unable to see, because it was absolutely alien to us. Therefore I needed my father, but he did not answer. And I decided to try to call Sever.

Regrettably, no matter how hard I tried, he did not want to contact me too for some reason. And I decided to try that, which I had just demonstrated to Caraffa – to "waft" to Meteora... Only this time I had no idea where the monastery was... I ran risks, because if I did not know the "point of my destination", there was a chance that I could be unable to "assemble" myself at all. And this would mean death. But I had to try, if I hoped to get answers in Meteora. Therefore, I went there, trying not to think about the consequences...

I "tuned" myself in to Sever and mentally ordered that I show up where he could be at this moment. I never went to any place "in the dark", which, naturally, did not instill huge confidence in my attempt, but I had nothing to lose, except for victory over Caraffa, which was well worth the risk.

I found myself on the verge of a very steep stone precipice which "soared" over earth like an enormous fairy-tale ship... There were only mountains around – big and small, green and simple stone-grey ones, which turned into flowering meadows very far away. The mountain where I stood was the highest and the only one on the apex of which there was snow in some places. It proudly towered above others like a shining white iceberg the base of which hid an enigmatic secret, invisible to others...

The freshness of the pure and crisp air took my breath away! It sparkled in the rays of a burning mountain sun and its flashing snowflakes burst, getting to the "depths" of my lungs. I breathed easily and freely, as if it was not air that flew into my body but amazing life-giving force. I wished I could breathe it eternally!

The world seemed beautiful and sunny! As if there was no evil and death; people did not suffer and a terrible man called Caraffa never lived on earth...

I felt like a bird, ready to spread my wings and rise high into the sky where no Evil could get me!

But cruel reality pitilessly returned me to earth, reminding me of the reason I came here. I looked around. A grey stone rock, licked by winds and shining with fluffy hoarfrost, towered right behind my back. And there... I saw huge and extraordinarily beautiful flowers which were scattered on it like white star dust! Proudly exposing their white, almost waxen, pointed petals under sunrays, they looked like pure cold stars which fell from the sky by mistake onto on this grey lonely rock... Unable to turn my eyes from their cold and enchanting beauty, I sat by the nearest stone, admiring the charming play of chiaroscuros on the blinding-white flawless flowers. My soul rested blissfully, voraciously absorbing the wonderful peace of this light and enchanting instant. Magic, deep and affectionate silence soared around.

Suddenly I shuddered. I remembered! The footprints of Gods!!! This was the name of these magnificent flowers! According to a very ancient legend which my dear grandmother told me a long time ago, when Gods came to Earth, they lived high in the mountains, far from the world’s fuss and human vices. They spent long hours reflecting about lofty and eternal things, and closed themselves from Man by the curtain of "wisdom" and alienation. People did not know how to find them. Only a few were lucky enough to see THEM, but later nobody saw those "lucky" ones ever again, and there was nobody to ask the way to the proud Gods. But one day a dying warrior climbed high in the mountains, not wishing to surrender alive to the enemy.

Life abandoned the sad warrior with the last drops of his cooling blood. And there was nobody to say the last farewell and wash his last way with tears. Suddenly his glance, almost extinguished, caught hold of the marvellous and divine beauty! Innocent snow-white flowers surrounded him. Their extraordinary whiteness washed his soul, returning force that had gone long ago and called it to life. Being unable to move, he absorbed their cold light, opening his lonely heart to their caress. His deep wounds were healed right before his very eyes. Life came back to him, being even stronger and more vigorous than it was at his birth. He felt he was a hero again and rose... and saw a very tall Elder standing right in front of him.

– Have you brought me back, God? – The warrior asked enthusiastically.

– Who are you, man? And why do you call me God? – The old man was surprised.

– Who else could do something like that? – The man whispered. – And you live almost in the sky... It means that you are a God.

– I am not a God; I am a descendant of Him... A true one, that is true... Enter our abode, since you came. You have come to bid farewell to life with pure heart and thought... that is why you were brought back. Rejoice.

– Who brought me back, Father?

– They did it – the "feet of God"... – The Old Man nodded his head, pointing to the marvellous flowers.

Since then the legend about the God’s Flowers began to spread. They say the flowers always grow where Gods live to show the way to newcomers...

Being so engrossed in thoughts, I did not notice that I was looking around... and then I suddenly came to myself! The extrodinary wonder-flowers grew only around a narrow dark crack which gaped in the rock like an almost invisible "natural" entrance!!! The suddenly intensified scent prompted me to go there...

I saw nobody. Not a soul came out. I felt uncomfortable about coming uninvited. Nevertheless, I decided to try and came to the crack. Nothing happened... There was neither special protection nor other surprises. Everything remained majestic and calm like it was from the Beginning of Time... Besides, against whom does one need to protect oneself here? Only from the gifted ones who are exactly like the dwellers of the place. I gave a start. There is the possiblity that another, partly gifted, "Caraffa" would be able to "find" them and could come here too!

I carefully entered a cave. But nothing unusual happened here, except that the air became very soft and "merry". It smelled of spring and grass, as if I was in a forest glade, not inside a naked stone rock. I went forward a few metres and suddenly realised that it had became lighter, although it should have been vice versa. The light streamed somewhere from above, and dispersed into a very soft "sunset" illumination here, downward. A strange calming melody began to sound softly in my head. I had never heard anything like this in my life. The unusual combination of sounds made the surrounding world light and merry... and safe.

It was very quiet and comfortable in the strange cave. The only thing that made me keep slightly alert was the feeling of somebody’s observation which gradually intensified, but it was not unpleasant. It gave the impression of a careful parent looking after a silly little child...

The corridor began to widen turning into an enormous high stone hall framed with simple stone seats which looked like long benches cut straight into the rock. There was a stone pedestal in the middle of this strange hall with an enormous diamond on it which shimmered with all the colours of the rainbow. It sparkled and shone, dazzling me with multicoloured flashes, and looked like a little sun which for some reason somebody hid in the stone cave.

I came closer. The crystal began to shine brighter. It was very beautiful, but no more. It did not cause either a feeling of delight or that of joining something "great". The crystal was material, only incredibly huge and magnificent. But that was all. It did not bear any mystic or other meaning. It was just extraordinarily beautiful. I could not understand why this "stone", simple by appearance, reacted when somebody approached it? Could it be that human warmth somehow "switched" it on?

– You are quite right, Isidora... – I suddenly heard somebody's affectionate voice. – Not without reason the Fathers valued you.

I gave a start, turned around and exclaimed with joy – Sever stood alongside! He was the same way, friendly and warm, only a little sad, like a tender sun which was suddenly covered by a casual cloud...

– Hello, Sever! I am sorry that I came uninvited. I called you but you did not come. Then I decided to try to find you. Tell me what do your words mean? I am right about what?

He came closer to the crystal which began to shine brighter. The light dazzled preventing me from looking at it.

– You are right regarding this "marvel". We found it a very long time ago – many hundreds of years ago, and now it stands us in good stead. It protects us from the "blind" ones who get here by chance. – Sever smiled. – Those who "wish but cannot"... – and added. – Like Caraffa. But it is not your place, Isidora. Follow me. I shall show you your Meteora.

We moved further into the hall passing enormous white plates with carved writings.

– They don’t look like Runes. What are they, Sever? – I could not help asking.

His friendly smile appeared again:

– They are Runes, only very ancient ones. Your father did not have time to teach you. But if you want, I shall teach you. Come to us, Isidora.

He repeated what I had already heard.

– No! – I cut short at once. I did not come here for that. You know that, Sever. I came for help. Only you can help me to destroy Caraffa. In fact there is some of your guilt too in what he does. Help me!

Sever grew even more sad. I knew beforehand what he would answer, but did not surrender. Millions of good lives were thrown into the scale, and I could not give up the fight for them so simply.

– I have already explained it to you, Isidora...

– So explain it to me one more time! – I sharply cut him short. – Explain to me how is it possible to sit around twiddling your thumbs when human lives go out one by one because of your error?! Explain how a piece of scum like Caraffa can exist and nobody shows any intention whatsoever of even trying to destroy him?! Explain to me how can you live when such atrocities happen right next to you?

Bitter offense boiled within me trying to break loose outside. I almost shouted, trying to reach his heart, but I felt that I was losing him. There was no way back. I did not know whether I could get here again and therefore I should use any opportunity before I leave the place.

– Look around, Sever! The living torches of your brothers and sisters burn all over Europe! Can you really sleep at night hearing them screaming??? Don’t you have bloody nightmares?!

Pain distorted his serene countenance:

– Don’t say that, Isidora! I’ve already explained it to you: we must not interfere; this right has not been given to us... We are keepers. We only guard KNOWLEDGE.

– Don’t you think that should you wait a little bit more there will be nobody to keep your knowledge for?! – I exclaimed sorrowfully.

– Earth is not ready, Isidora. I’ve already told you...

– Well, maybe it will never be ready. And when you look at it from your unattainable "top" in several thousand years, you will see just an empty field, maybe covered with beautiful flowers, because there will be no people left on Earth and there will be nobody to pluck these flowers. Think, Sever, is this the kind of future you wish for Earth?!

But Sever was encircled within the solid wall of faith in what he said. Apparently they all strongly believed that they were right. Or there was somebody who once instilled this faith in their souls so firmly that they carried it through the centuries, without opening up and letting nobody into their hearts. And I failed to breach that wall, no matter how hard I tried.

– We are few in number, Isidora. And if we interfere, it is highly likely that we will die too. And then it will be very simple, even for a weak man, let alone somebody like Caraffa, to take advantage of everything we keep. And somebody will get his hands on the power over every living soul. This kind of thing happened once… a very long time ago. The world almost died then. Therefore, I am sorry but we are not going to interfere, Isidora. We have no right to do that... Our Great Ancestors bade us guard the ancient KNOWLEDGE. And this is why we are here, what we live for. We did not save even Christ once... although we could; despite the fact that we all loved him very much.

– Are you saying that one of you knew Christ?! But it was such a long time ago! Even you cannot live so long!

– Why is it a long time ago, Isidora? – Sever was sincerely surprised. – It was just several hundred years ago! And we can live much longer; you know that... as you would live, if you wanted...

– Several hundred?!!

Sever nodded.

– But what about the legend?! According to it a thousand and a half years have passed since his death?!

– That is why it is called a "legend". – Sever shrugged his shoulders. – If it was a True one, it would not need the bespoke "fantasies" of Paul, Matthew and Peter and others similar to them. And with all this going on, these "holy" people in fact never saw a living Christ! And he never taught them. History recurs, Isidora... So it was, and so it will be always until people finally begin to think independently. While the Dark minds think for them, only the fight will always rule on Earth.

Sever fell silent, as if deciding whether he should continue, but on thinking a little, began to speak again:

– From time to time the "Thinking Dark"ones give a new God to humanity, always choosing him from the best, lightest and purest ones, but exactly those who are already not in the Circle of the Living. Because, you see, it is much easier to "put" a false "story of his Life" on a dead one, and spread it all over the world in order to bring to humanity only the story "approved" by the "Thinking Dark", making people dive even deeper into the ignorance of Mind, swaddling their Souls in the fear of their inevitable death ever more strongly, thus putting shackles on their free and proud Life...

– Who are the Thinking Dark ones, Sever? – I could not help asking.

– It’s a Dark Circle which comprises "grey" Volkvs, "black" magicians, finance geniuses (different ones in each period of time) and a lot of others like that. In other words, it is an Earthly (and not only) union of "dark" forces.

– Don’t you fight them?!! You’re talking about it so calmly, as if it has nothing to do with you! But you live on Earth too, Sever!

Mortal anguish crept into his eyes, as if I accidentally touched something deeply sad and unbearably painful.

– Oh, we fought, Isidora! And how we fought! It was a long time ago. Then I was too naive, like you now, and thought should we show people where the truth and lies were and they at once would rush to the attack for the "right cause". It’s just a "dream of the future", Isidora. Man, you see, is an extremely vulnerable creature which yields to flattery, avidity and the rest of "human vices" too easily. The first thing of which all people think is their necessities and benefits, and only then – about "other" living things.

The strongest ones crave Power. The weak ones look for powerful defenders without being interested about their "purity"; and all that has happened for centuries. That is why the lightest and best are the first to die in any war, and the "remaining" ones join the "winner". So it has moved in a circle again and again. Earth is not ready to think, Isidora; I know you don’t agree, because you are too pure and light, but one person is unable to overturn the overall EVIL, even one as strong as you. The earthly Evil is too huge and unrestricted. We tried once... and lost the best. Therefore we will wait for the right time to come. We are very few, Isidora.

– Why then don’t you try to fight differently? Why don’t you wage a war which can avoid sacrificing your lives? You do have such a weapon! And why do you allow the profanation of people like Jesus? Why don’t you tell people the truth?

– Because nobody will listen to it, Isidora. People prefer a beautiful and calming lie to the soul-agitating truth, and do not wish to think yet.

Look, even the stories about the "lives of Gods" and messiahs created by the "dark" ones resemble each other too much, right up to some of the details, beginning with their birth and ending with their death. It was done to prevent anything new "disturbing" man, to make sure that something "usual and familiar" would always surround him.

Once, when I was like you – a convinced and true Warrior – these "stories" staggered me with their barefaced lies and their "creators"’ poor thought. I considered it a great error of the "dark". But now I understand that they were intentionally created this way, which was true genius... The Thinking Dark ones know the nature of a "manageable" person too well and therefore are quite s ure that Man will always follow readily the one who is very familiar, but will strongly resist and accept with difficulty the one who will turn out to be new for him and make him think.

Probably that is why people still blindly follow "resembling" Gods, Isidora, thoughtlessly, without doubts or the need to ask at least one question.

I bent my head – he was quite right. People still easily yielded to the "herd instinct" which manipulated their pliable hearts.

– But each of them, who people call Gods, had their own very bright and very different unique Lives which would beautify the True Chronicle of Humanity, if people knew about them. – Sever sadly went on. – Tell me, Isidora; has anybody on Earth read Christ’s true writings? He was an outstanding Teacher and a remarkable writer! He left far more than the "Thinking Dark" ones, which created his false story, would ever imagine...

Sever’s eyes became pitch-dark and deep, as if they instantly absorbed the whole of earthly bitterness and pain... It was obvious that he did not want to talk about it, but after a minute of silence he continued:

– He lived here since he was thirteen. And already then he wrote the chronicle of his life, knowing how strongly it would be perverted. Already then he knew his future and suffered. We taught him a lot of things... – Suddenly Sever smiled, on remembering something very pleasant... – The dazzling-bright Force of Life, like the sun, always burned in him along with wonderful internal Light. He amazed us with the boundless desire to KNOW! He wanted to know EVERYTHING we knew. I never saw such a huge thirst for knowledge! Except, maybe, in another one, likewise obsessed...

His smile became surprisingly warm and light.

– At that time a girl, Magdalena, lived here with us. She was pure and tender, like the morning light. Also she was incredibly gifted! She was the strongest of all I knew on Earth then, except for our best Volkvs and Christ. Yet being with us, she became Jesus’s Vedunia... and his only Great Love, and later his wife and friend, sharing every instant of his life with him while he lived on this Earth...

On studying and maturing with us, he became a very strong Vedun and a real Warrior! Then his time came to say goodbye to us... Time came to do the duty for the sake of which the Father called him on Earth. And he left us. Magdalena went with him. Our monastery became empty and cold without these extraordinary children, now adult. We terribly missed their happy smiles, warm laughter and their joy when they saw each other, their irrepressible thirst for knowledge; iron Strength of Mind, and the Light of their pure Souls... These children were like suns without which our cold measured life grew dim. Meteora was sad and empty without them. We knew that they would never come back and we would never see them again.

Jesus became a steadfast warrior. He fought evil more furiously than you, Isidora. But he did not have enough strength. – Sever hanged his head. – He called Father for help. He had been mentally talking with him for hours. But Father was deaf to his requests. He could not; he had no right to betray what he served, for which he had to betray his son who he sincerely and selflessly loved. – To my great surprise, I saw tears glittering in Sever’s eyes. – On getting his Father’s refusal, Jesus asked all of us for help, just like you, Isidora. But we too said no to him. We had no right. We asked him to leave, but he stayed, although he perfectly knew what awaited him. He fought to the last instant... He fought for Good, for Earth and even for the people who executed him. He fought for Light. And people, "in gratitude", slandered him after his death, making a false and helpless God out of him... Although Jesus was never helpless: He was a warrior to the marrow of his bones, whilst he was a child, when he came to us. He called people to fight evil and crushed everything "black" wherever he came across it on his thorny way.

Jesus Radomir casts out the money changers from the Temple
Jesus Radomir casts out
the money changers from the Temple

Sever fell silent and I thought that the story was over. Such deep and naked anguish flooded his sad grey eyes that I understood at last how difficult it must be to live on refusing to help the dear, light and wonderful people, seeing them off to their sure death and knowing how easily they could save them, just stretching out a hand... How wrong in my opinion was their unwritten "truth" about non-interference in Earthly matters until (at last, one day!) the "right" time would come... which by the way could never come...

– Man is still a weak-willed creature, Isidora. – Sever suddenly began to talk again. – Unfortunately there is both greed and envy in him, more than he can handle. People don’t wish to follow the Pure and Light one yet. It wounds their "pride" and strongly angers them, because he differs too much from the man they have become accustomed to.

And the Thinking Dark ones perfectly knew and used this and always easily directed people to overturning and smiting the "new" Gods, appeasing their "thirst" for destruction of something wonderful and light. And then they returned those new "Gods", already disgraced enough, to the crowd as Great Martyrs killed "by mistake"...

As for Christ, even crucified, he remained too distant for people; too pure. Therefore people sullied him with such cruelty after his death, mercilessly and shamelessly making him like them.

So the fervent Warrior turned into a cowardly God which instructed people to turn the left cheek, if someone strikes you on the right one.... And only a pitiful laughing-stock at which they threw stones was left of his great Love... wonderful pure girl who was turned into a "fallen" woman rising from the dirt and "forgiven" by Christ...

People are still foolish and wicked, Isidora. Don’t give yourself for them! In fact even on crucifying Christ, they cannot calm down all those years, wiping out His Name. Don’t give yourself for them, Isidora!

– But do you really think that ALL people are foolish and wicked? There are a lot of wonderful people on Earth, Sever! And not all of them need a "defeated" God, believe me! Look at me. Don’t you see? I would need a living Christ, just as did his marvellous Love – Magdalena...

Sever smiled.

– That’s because you are Is-i-do-ra. You pray to different Gods. Besides, they hardly need praying to! They are always with you and cannot leave you. Your Gods are Kindness and Love, Light and Knowledge and Pure primordial Force. They are Gods of Wisdom, and they are what we "pray" to. People don’t acknowledge them yet. They still need another thing. People need somebody to whom they can complain about feeling bad; who they can accuse when having bad luck; who they can ask when they want something; who can forgive them when they "sin". Here is what man needs now. Lots of time will pass until man stops needing a God which would do everything for him, let alone, forgive everything. It’s too comfortable to refuse, Isidora. Man is not ready yet to do anything on his own.

– Show me him, Sever... – I asked in a whisper. – Show me what he was.

The air around began to vibrate with soft waves, sparkling and thickening, as if a mysterious invisible door was going to open. And here I saw them!

In a spacious stone cave two wonderful blond children merrily chatted about something, sitting beside a small natural stone fountain. The world around them seemed happy and sunny, absorbing the quiet joy which streamed out of their wonderful souls...

The boy was proud, tall and very slender for his thirteen years. Enormous internal force raged in him, but at the same time he was soft and very pleasant. He looked at the world merrily and ... very wisely, as if, inside, he was more than a hundred years old. His radiant blue eyes flashed from time to time with a steel grey colour, but then again sparkled with joy, admiring his charming and easily amused interlocutor.

The girl was extraordinarily attractive. She resembled a pure angel newly descended from the sky. She clasped an ancient thick book to her bosom and apparently was not going to let it go for all the tea in China. Wavy very long golden hair was tied with a blue silk ribbon which advantageously emphasized the colour of her laughing sky-blue eyes. Little dimples on the pink cheeks made her very sweet and merry like a May morning...

The children were dressed in long snow-white identical garments girdled with golden belts and looked like a wonderful couple from a beautiful old painting... They were a wonderful match, complementing and giving each other the missing bits, thus creating the whole which was impossible to break... This was Jesus and Magdalena, the future Saviour of Humanity and his only and big future Love!

– But they are completely different! – I exclaimed, being sincerely surprised. – They are absolutely not like they are drawn! Aren’t they really Jews?!

– They never were. – Sever shrugged his shoulders. – It was people who longed for power that very "wisely" decided they should become the "children of the killed God" thus making the most dangerous people on Earth; the "CHOSEN" ones.

Jesus was the son of a White Volkhv and our disciple Vedunia Maria. They became his parents to bring his amazing Spirit to Earth.

I stared at Sever absolutely dumbfounded...

– But what about the Jews Maria and Joseph?! What about Nazareth?

Vedunia Maria, Volkhv John and newly born Radomir wait for the White Volkhv
Vedunia Maria, Volkhv John
and newly born Radomir
wait for the White Volkhv

Neither the Jew Maria nor Joseph was ever with Jesus, Isidora. There was Vedunia Maria who wanted to come here, to Meteora, right before his birth in order for him to be born among Volkvs and Witches. But she was late... Jesus was born a week earlier, AT DAWN (na zare Rus. – E.L.) in a little house on the riverside. And his birth was accompanied by the Light Morning Star.

Our Volkvs hurried to see and protect him. And his Teacher and Father came to greet his newly-born son’s remarkable Spirit.

The Volkvs called him to Earth to stop the "plague" which, like a spider, had already been spinning its black web for a long time. It was exactly the Volkvs who sent Christ to the Jews, but Jesus himself was never a Jew.

The Volkvs hoped that he would have enough strength to stop the "black" Evil which had begun to crawl all over the Earth. But Jesus failed, underestimating the "great weaknesses" of Man...

The Earth was not ready for His coming, just as it is not ready for the coming of the KNOWING ones, Idsidora. And we are not ready to help the Earth. When the right time comes, we will open the Doors. And maybe Light will triumph on Earth. But it will not happen for a very long time... Forgive me.

I exploded.

– So, what?! Are you just going to watch, twiddling your thumbs, how the best are destroyed?! But it’s your world too, Sever! How can you let it die? To leave is the easiest way, or to WAIT. But won’t such treachery pursue you for the rest of your long life? Will you really be able to live somewhere calmly without thinking about all who died?! I don’t believe in a beautiful future built on the deaths of others, Sever! It’s terrible. The world will never be the same, if we don’t help it now! I ask you, help me, Sever...

I was ready to fall on my knees, if it could help, but I saw that it would change nothing. These people lived in their Truth – a very isolated and strange one. I could not understand why they were not ashamed of remaining aside, when thousands of the best and the most talented children of Earth were burning, damning their gift and dying in the most terrible throes? My heart sank – I could not fight alone. He was right – I did not have enough strength.

– How is it possible to accept such a thing, Sever! How can we let the "black" take our wonderful Earth? Don’t your Great Teachers really see what is going on? How can one believe in something light after all that, Sever?!

– Earth will suffer very long and terribly, Isidora... until it comes to the very edge of destruction. And always the best will die for it. Then the time of choice will come... only the people will decide whether they have the forces to withstand the evil. We shall just indicate the way.

– Are you sure, Sever, that there will be somebody left to indicate to? Maybe it will be all the same for those who manage to survive...

– Oh, no, Isidora! Man is an extraordinarily strong being in his survivability. You cannot even imagine how strong he is! And the true Man never gives up, even if he remains alone. So it always was and so it will always be. The force of Love and the force of Fight are very strong on Earth, even if people do not understand it yet.

And there will always be someone who will lead others. The most important thing is that this Leader will not be a "black" one. Man seeks an aim from his birth; and it depends solely on him whether he will find it himself or will be given it. People must learn to think, Isidora. Regrettably, today many consent to others thinking for them. While it happens, the Earth will lose its best sons and daughters who will pay for the ignorance of all "compromisers".

Therefore I won’t help you, Isidora. And none of us will. The time to stake everything has not come yet. If we die now fighting for the handful of the Enlightened, even if their time to KNOW has already come, after that there will be nobody to "know" anything.

I see I have not convinced you. – A light smile touched Sever’s lips. – In fact you would not be you, if I have... But I beg of you only one thing, Isidora – please, leave! This is not your time, and this is not your world!

I became awfully sad. I understood that I had lost here too. Now everything depended only on my conscience – whether I would agree to leave or I would fight knowing that there is not the slightest hope of winning...

– Well, Sever, I shall stay. May be I am not so wise like you and your Great ancestors, but I think that, if they really were so "Great", you would help us and they would forgive you, and if they did not, well, maybe, they are not so "Great" in the end!

It was bitterness that spoke through me, preventing me from thinking soberly. I could not accept the thought that there was nobody to wait for help from; that right here there were people who could help, but they did not want to. They "defended" themselves with some higher aims, refusing to interfere. They were WISE... But I just listened to my heart. I wanted to protect my dearest ones and to help others not to lose their dearest ones. I wanted to destroy Evil. Maybe, I was just a "child" in their "wise" understanding. Maybe I have not grown or matured, but even if I live a thousand years, I would never be able to watch calmly as somebody's atrocious hand kills an innocent and wonderful person.

– Do you want to see the real Meteora, Isidora? It is highly likely that you will never have another chance. – Sever sadly pronounced.

– May I to ask what the word Meteora means?

– Oh, it was a long time ago when we chose it. Now it means nothing, but once it sounded a bit different. It meant WE-ARE THOSE-NEAR-RA [my-te-u-ra – Rus.] which meant – those close to light and knowledge, keeping them and living in them. But then too many "know-nothing" ones began to look for us and the name changed. Many did not hear how it sounded, and many were not interested in it at all. They did not understand that even on entering here, they already joined VERA [faith (eng). VE-RA= to know Ra=to know light and knowledge (E.L.)], that it met them already at the threshold, beginning with the name and its understanding.

I know it’s not the way you speak, and probably, you’ll find it difficult to understand the language, Isidora, although your name belongs to it too. It is meaningful.

– You forgot that the language does not matter to me, Sever. I feel and see it. – I smiled.

– Forgive me, the knowing one. I forgot who you were. Do you wish to see what only the knowing ones have the right to see, Isidora? You will not have another chance. You will never come back here.

I just nodded, trying to hold back the wicked and bitter tears ready to stream down my cheeks. The hope of being with them, of getting their strong friendly support died, never even having fully thrived. I remained alone, without having known something very important for me. I remained almost defenceless against a strong and terrible man with the threatening name, Caraffa.

But the decision was made and I was not going to change it. Otherwise, what was our Life worth, if we have to live betraying ourselves? Suddenly I calmed down. Everything at last fell into place; there was nothing to hope for. I could count only on myself, and this was the point I must proceed from. And as for how it will end, I forced myself not to think about it anymore.

We went along a high stone corridor which broadened and went deep into it. It was as light and pleasant as in the cave and only the smell of spring herbs became stronger as we went on. Unexpectedly a luminous golden "wall" with only one big shining Rune began to sparkle right in front of us. I understood that it was a protection from the "ignoramuses". It looked like a thick glimmering curtain made of some golden fabric, which I had never seen before, through which most likely I could never pass unaided.

Sever stretched his hand and slightly touched the curtain with his palm, and the golden "wall" disappeared at once, opening a passage-way into an extraordinary hall.

At once I had an acute feeling of something "alien", as if something told me that it was not the usual world in which I always lived, but in an instant the strange "alien" sensation disappeared and again everything became well as usual.

The attentive feeling of somebody's invisible observation increased. It was not hostile but rather resembled the warm touch of a kind old friend, once lost a long time ago and now suddenly found again.

A small natural fountain sparkled rainbow splashes in the distant corner of the hall. The water was so transparent that it was visible only in the iridescent reflections of light which shone on trembling mirror-like drops. On looking at this miraculous spring, I unexpectedly felt burning thirst and was going to ask Sever whether I could drink a little, as I immediately got an answer:

– Certainly, Isidora, try it! It is the water of Life. We all drink it when we do not have enough forces, when the load becomes too heavy. Try it!

I bent to dip into the miraculous water with my hands and felt an unbelievable relief, not even having touched it yet! It seemed that all my troubles and bitterness suddenly stepped back and I felt unusual calmness and happiness. It was unbelievable – in fact I had not even tried it! I confusedly turned around to Sever. He smiled. Apparently everybody who came across this miracle for the first time experienced the same feeling. I filled my cupped palms with water. It sparkled with little diamonds like the morning dew on the grass lit by sunrays... Very carefully, trying to not spill so much as a precious drop, I took a tiny sip. Unbelievable lightness spread all over my body! As if somebody pitied me and wiped off fifteen years with a magic wand! I felt light like a bird soaring high in the sky. My head became pure and clear, as if I was just born.

– What is it?! – I whispered in surprise.

– I told you. – Sever smiled. It is the Aqua Vitae. It helps to absorb knowledge, takes away tiredness and returns light. Everybody who lives here drinks it. It was always here as far as I remember.

He slightly pushed me further. And suddenly I understood what seemed so strange. The room did not end! It seemed to be small, but continued to "stretch" as we went! It was unbelievable! I looked at Sever again, but he only nodded, as if saying: "Don’t be surprised at anything. Everything is all right". And I stopped being surprised...

A man "came out" right from the wall. I gave a start, but at once tried to pull myself together not to show my surprise, because it obviously was a quite usual thing for the dwellers of this place. He came straight to us and said with his deep resonant voice:

– Peace to you, Isidora! I am Volkhv Isten. I know it’s a hard time for you, but you chose your way yourself. Follow me, I’ll show you what you’ve lost.

We moved further. I followed the extraordinary human being who emmited unbelievable force, and sorrowfully thought how easy and simple everything would be, if he wanted to help! Regrettably, he did not want to...

I went, deep in thought, and did not notice when I found myself in a staggering space which was completely filled with narrow shelves full of an unbelievable amount of unusual golden plates and very old "scrolls" which looked like the ancient manuscripts that were kept in my father’s house. The only difference was that those which I saw here were made of the thinnest unknown material which I had never seen before. The plates and rolls were of different size – very small and very large, short and long, some of a person’s full height. There were lots of them in this strange room.

– It is KNOWLEDGE, Isidora, or rather its smallest part. You can absorb, if you wish. It won’t harm you and even will help you in your search. Try, dear...

Isten tenderly smiled and suddenly it seemed to me that I had always known him. A wonderful warmth and peace came from him which I so lacked in all these terrible days, struggling against Caraffa. Obviously he perfectly felt all this, because he looked at me with deep sorrow, as if he knew what wicked fate waited for me behind the walls of Meteora, and he mourned me beforehand....

I came to one of the endless shelves "stuffed" to the top with half-round golden plates to see them like Isten advised... But before I could stretch my hand a squall of stunning and marvellous visions poured down on me!!! The shocking pictures, which did not look like anything I have ever seen, swept over my exhausted brain with unbelievable speed, changing from one to another. Some of them remained for some reason, and some disappeared, immediately bringing new ones which I did not have time to scrutinize. What was that?! The lives of some dead people who lived a long time ago or the life of our Great ancestors? The visions changed each other, rushing with mad speed. The stream did not end, carrying me away in amazing countries and worlds, without giving me the slightest chance to awaken. Suddenly one of them flashed brighter than others and an astonishing city apeared... It was airy and transparent, as if being created of the White Light.

– This is a Holy City, dear, the City of our Gods. It has ceased to exist for a very long time. – Isten said in a low voice. – It’s there from where we all came once... Only nobody on Earth remembers it. – Then he suddenly remembered something and added: – Carefully, dear, you will find it too heavy. Don’t look anymore.

But I wished for more! Some burning thirst burned my brain, begging to continue! The unknown world beckoned and charmed me with its primordialness! I wanted to dive in it and submerge deeper and deeper to absorb it endlessly, not losing a single precious minute... which I knew I had very few left...

Every new plate demonstrated thousands of incredible images which were surprisingly bright and now understandable for some reason, as if I had suddenly found a magic key which had been lost a long time ago.

Time flew, but I did not notice it. I wanted more and more. I was terribly afraid that right now somebody would stop all that and I would have to leave this wonderful well of somebody's unbelievable memory which I would never have the occasion to perceive again. I felt very sad and bad, but, unfortunately, there was no way back for me. It was me who chose my life and I was not going to renounce it, despite it being incredibly hard...

– That will be it, dear. I cannot show you more. You are an "apostate" which did not want to know... And the way here is closed for you. I am sincerely sorry, Isidora... You have a great Gift! You could easily KNOW all of it... if you wanted. It did not come so easily for the majority of us... Your nature craves it. But you’ve chosen another way and that is why you must go away now. My thoughts will be with you, child of Light. Go with VERA. Let it help you. Farewell, Isidora.

The room disappeared. We found ourselves in a different stone hall which was also filled with a great number of scrolls, but they looked different, not as ancient as the previous ones. Suddenly I felt extremely sad. I painfully wanted to grasp these strange "secrets" and see the riches hidden in them, but I was leaving in order to never return here.

– Think, Isidora! – Sever said quietly, as if feeling my doubts. – You have not left yet. Stay.

I only shook my head...

Suddenly my attention was attracted by the already familiar, but in the same way incomprehensible phenomenon: as we moved further, the room stretched here too with one difference, though. I did not see a soul in the previous one, but here I saw a lot of people – young and old, men and women and even children! They all studied something very attentively, fully retiring into themselves and devotedly comprehending some "wise truth", paying no attention to the visitors.

– Who are all these people, Sever? Do they live here? – I asked in a whisper.

– They are Witches and Veduns, Isidora. Your father was one of them once. We teach them.

My heart ached. I wanted to howl like a wolf, pitying myself and my short lost life! I wanted to give up everything and sit down next to them – these happy Veduns and Witches – to get to know with my mind and heart the depth of this wonderful, so generously open to them, great KNOWLEDGE!

Burning tears were ready to roll down my cheeks, but I tried to retain them with all my might. I must not do it, because tears were the next "forbidden luxury" to which I had no right, if I called myself a real Warrior. Warriors do not cry. They fight and win, and when they die, there are no tears in their eyes. Apparently I simply got very tired because of loneliness and pain and permanent fear for my family, and the endless fight which I did not have the least hope of winning. I needed a breath of fresh air very much which for me was my daughter Anna. But for some reason I did not see her, despite my knowing that she was here, together with them in this wonderful and strange "secret" land.

Sever stood next to me on the verge of the canyon. Deep sorrow hid in his grey eyes. I wanted to ask him, whether I would see him again? But I had not enough strength. I did not want to say goodbye. I did not want to leave. Life here was so wise and calm and everything seemed so simple and well! But there, in my cruel and imperfect world good people died and it was about time to return and try to save somebody. This was truly my world, no matter how terrible it was. And my father was there and, maybe, suffered cruelly unable to break from Caraffa who I decided to eliminate no matter what, even if I had to give my short and so dear to me life for it.

– May I see Anna? – I asked Sever with hope.

– Forgive me, Isidora, Anna must pass the "purging" from the vanity of the world before she can enter the same hall where you have just been. She cannot see you now...

– But why did I have nothing to "purify"? – I was surprised. In fact Anna is still a child and she does not have too much "dirt" of the world, does she?

– She will have to absorb too much – to grasp the whole of the endlessness. And you will never return there. There is no need for you to forget anything "old", Isidora. I am very sorry.

– So, will I never see my daughter again? – I asked in a whisper.

– You will. I shall help you. Now, do you want to say goodbye to the Volkhvs, Isidora? It is your only chance, don’t miss it.

Of course I wanted to see them, the Masters of this Wise World! My father had told me so much about them and I had dreamed of meetingt them for so long! However I could not imagine then how sad our meeting would be.

Sever lifted his hands and the rock shimmered and then disappeared. We found ourselves in a round hall with an incredibly high ceiling. The hall seemed to be a forest, a meadow, a fairy-tale castle or even "nothing" at one and the same time. No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to see its walls or what happened around it. The air twinkled and shimmered with thousands of brilliant "drops" looking like human tears... On subduing my agitation, I finally breathed in. The "rainy" air was surprisingly fresh, pure and light! It made the thinnest living filaments of the "golden" warmth run all over my body, spreading the vivifying force. The feeling was wonderful!

– Come, Isidora. Fathers expect you. – Sever whispered.

I took a step and the trembling air "moved" apart. The Volkhvs stood right in front of me...

– I came to say goodbye, Prophetic ones. Peace to you... – I said quietly, not knowing how I should welcome them.

Never in my life had I felt such complete and all-embracing Great FORCE! They did not move, but it seemed that the hall vibrated with warm waves of some extraordinary might.

This was the real LIFE!!! I did not know what words could describe it. It shocked me! I wanted to seize it with the whole of my self! I wanted to imbibe it... or just to fall to my knees! Feelings overwhelmed me like a stunning avalanche. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

– Peace to you, Isidora. – The warm voice of one of them sounded. – We FEEL for you. You are a Volkhv’s daughter. You will share his way. Force will not leave you. Go with VERA, cherished child...

My soul aspired to join them with the scream of a dying bird! My injured heart strived toward them, breaking against wicked fate... But I knew that it was too late, they were forgiving and... feeling for me. I have never "heard" before how deep the meaning of these wonderful words was. And now the joy of their marvellous new sounding swept over me, filling my injured soul with an avalanche of bottomless feelings, preventing me from breathing...

The quiet light sadness, sharp pain of loss, beauty of life which I had to live and enormous wave of Love which come from somewhere far away and, on merging with the Earthly one, flooded my soul and body, lived in these words.

Life swept over like a whirlwind touching every "edge" of my self without leaving a single cell unfilled with the warmth of love. I was afraid that I would not be able to leave... and probably because of this dread I awakened at once from the wonderful "farewell", looking at the people, amazing in their internal force and beauty, standing next to me.

Tall old and young men dressed in dazzling white clothes, which look like long tunics, stood around me. Some were girdled with red belts, and the belts of two of them were wide embroidered with gold and silver.

– Oh, look! – Suddenly my impatient friend Stella interrupted the wonderful moment. – They look very like your "star friends" as you had showed them to me! Look! Could they really be them? What do you think?! Tell me!!!

To tell the truth the Sacred City we had seen seemed to me very familiar. And also I had similar thoughts, as soon as I saw the Volkvs, but I drove them away, trying not to cherish vain "rosy hopes". It was too important and serious, and I only waved to Stella, as if saying that we would talk later, when we were alone. I understood that Stella would be disappointed because, as usual, she wanted to get an immediate answer to her question, but I thought that now it was not so important, unlike Isidora’s wonderful story, so I mentally asked Stella to wait.

I guiltily smiled at Isidora. She answered me with her wonderful smile and went on.

A mighty, tall, old man, who had something elusively similar to my dear father, who suffered in Caraffa’s basements, riveted my attention. For some reason I understood at once – he was the Great White Volkhv.

His amazing, piercing and compelling grey eyes looked at me with deep sorrow and warmth, as if bidding me the last "Farewell"!

– Come, Child of Light. We shall forgive you...

Suddenly he began to radiate an amazing and joyful white Light, which on wrapping everything around with soft shine, tenderly embraced me, penetrating into the most secret corners of my pain-tormented Soul. Light pierced every cell, leaving only good and peace in it, "washing" out the pain, sorrow and bitterness accumulated over years. I soared in the magic radiance, forgetting earthly cruelty, wickedness and falseness. The only thing I felt was the marvellous touch of the Eternal Life. This feeling was indescribably delightful!!! I begged mentally – if only it would not be over... But on the whim of fate everything wonderful is also over quicker than we would like.

– We endowed you with VERA. It will help you, Child... Heed it... and farewell, Isidora...

Before I could answer, the Volkvs "flushed" with marvellous Light and, leaving the aroma of blooming meadows, disappeared. Sever and I remained alone... I sadly looked around. The cave remained the same, enigmatic and sparkling, but the pure and warm light which got into the soul was gone...

– It was Jesus’s Father, wasn’t it? – I asked carefully.

– Yes it was, being the grandfather of his son and great-grandfather of his grandchildren whose death lies with heavy guilt on his heart...

– ?!.

– Yes, Isidora. He is a person who carries the bitter load of pain. And you will never be able to imagine how huge it is. – Sever answered sadly.

– Maybe it would not be so bitter today, if then He had pitied the good people dying from stranger’s ignorance and cruelty? If He had responded to His wonderful and light Son’s call, instead of giving him to the wicked killers to be tortured? If He had not continued now just to "observe" from His height, how Caraffa’s "holy" accomplices burn Veduns and Witches? Why is He better than Caraffa if He does not impede such an Evil, Sever?! In fact if He can help but does not want to, the whole of this earthly horror will be his responsibility for eternity! Neither the reason nor explanation is important when a wonderful human life is at stake! I will never be able to understand it, Sever. And I will not "leave" while good people are killed here, while my earthly Home is being destroyed, even if I never see my real Home. This is my fate and therefore – farewell.

– Farewell, Isidora. Peace to your Soul. Forgive me.

I again found myself in the room, in my dangerous and pitiless existence. Everything which has just happed seemed a wonderful dream which I would never dream again in my life... or a beautiful fairy-tale which certainly would have had a "happy ending" for somebody, but not for me...

I pitied my unfortunate life, but I was very proud of my brave little girl who would succeed in grasping the whole of this great Miracle... if Caraffa doesn’t destroy her before she can defend herself.

Suddenly I heard the sound of a noisily opened door. The infuriated Caraffa stood on the threshold.

– Well, where did you "stroll", Madonna Isidora? – My tormentor asked in a feigned pleasant voice.

– I wanted to visit my daughter, Your Holiness, but could not.

It was all the same for me what he thought, and whether my "sally" made him angry. My soul soared far away, in the astonishing White City which Isten showed me, and everything that surrounded me now seemed distant and miserable.

Regrettably Caraffa did not allow me to enjoy my dreams. On feeling that my mood had changed, "his holiness" began to panic.

– Have you been admitted to Meteora, Madonna Isidora? – Caraffa asked as calmly as he could.

I knew that he simply "burned" inside, wishing to get an answer as quickly as possible, and decided to torture him until he told me where my father was now.

– Does it really matter, Your Holiness? You have my father who you can ask everything which I am unable to answer. Or you did not yet have enough time to interrogate him thoroughly, did you?

– I don’t advise you to speak to me in anything like that tone, Isidora. His fate will greatly depend on the way you behave. Therefore, try to be more polite.

– But how would you behave, if it was your father now instead of mine, Holiness? – I asked, trying to change the subject which began to be dangerous.

If my father was a HERETIC, I would burn him at the stake! – Caraffa answered with all the calmness in the world.

What kind of a heart does this "holy" man have, if he has one at all? If Caraffa could say such things about his father, what intentions could one expect from him toward others?

– Yes, I was in Meteora, Your Holiness, and I am very sorry that I will never go back there. – I answered sincerely.

– Have you been expelled from there too, Isidora? – Caraffa laughed in surprise.

– No, Holiness, I haven’t. I was invited to stay. I left.

– That cannot be! Nobody would refuse to remain there, Isisdora!

– Why not? What about my father, Holiness?

– I don’t believe that he was permitted to stay. I think he had to leave. Probably his time was over, or his Gift was not strong enough.

I thought that he tried by all means to convince himself of what he wanted to believe.

– Not all people love only themselves, you know. – I said sadly. – There is something greater than power or force. There is Love...

Caraffa waved me away like an annoying fly, as if I spoken complete nonsense.

Love does not rule the world, Isidora. And I do wish to rule it!

Man can do everything... until he starts trying, Your Holiness. – I could not help myself, "biting" him.

Suddenly I remembered something about which I wanted to know and asked:

– Tell me, Your Holiness, do you know the truth about Jesus and Magdalena?

– Do you mean that they lived in Meteora? – I nodded. – Of course! It was the first thing I asked them!

– How it can be possible?! – I was shocked. – Do you also know the fact they were not Jews? – Caraffa nodded again. – But you never tell about that! Nobody knows that! What about TRUTH, Your Holiness?

– Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Isidora! – Caraffa sincerely laughed. – You are a child, upon my life! Who needs your "truth"? The crowd which has never looked for it?! No, my dearest, only a handful of thinking ones need Truth, and the crowd must simply "believe". It does not really matter in what. The important thing is that people should obey. It does not matter what they are fed with for that. TRUTH is dangerous, Isidora. Where Truth is revealed, doubts appear, and where doubts are, a war begins. I lead my OWN war, Isidora, and for the time being I am enormously pleased with it! The world has always been based on lie, you see. The most important thing is that this lie should be interesting enough to lead dull minds. And believe me, Isidora; with all this going on, if you start proving the real Truth to the crowd, refuting their "faith" in God knows what, it will tear you to pieces.

– Can such a clever man as Your Holiness be satisfied with self-betrayal? In fact you burn innocent people on behalf of the slandered God which is innocent too, like them. How can you lie so shamelessly, Your Holiness?!

– Oh, don’t worry, dear Isidora! – Caraffa smiled. – My conscience is absolutely clear! It was not me who raised this God, and it won’t be me who overturns him. But I am going to be the one who will purge Earth of heresy and lechery! And believe me, Isidora, there will be nobody to burn on this sinful Earth the day I "leave"!

I felt dizzy. My heart madly palpitated, unable to listen to this delirium! Therefore, I pulled myself together as quickly as possible and tried to avoid discussing his favourite subject.

– Well, what about you being the head of the holy Christian church? Don’t you really think that your duty is to disclose the truth about Jesus Christ to people?

– Exactly because I am his "deputy on Earth" I will keep silent, Isidora! Exactly that is why...

I looked at him with my eyes wide open and could not believe that I really heard all that. Caraffa was extremely dangerous in his madness and there hardly was a remedy which could help him.

– That’s enough small talk! – The "holy father" suddenly exclaimed, rubbing his hands with a satisfied air. – Come with me, my dearest. I think this time I will succeed in stunning you!

If he knew how well he constantly managed to do it! My heart ached, having a bad presentiment. But I had no choice – I had to go with him...

Download the Book

1. The beginning
2. A friend
3. The first "swallows"
4. The loss
5. Reality
6. The first contact
7. A test
8. The farewell
9. The awakening
10. Everyday life
11. The neighbours
12. Cookies
13. The fire that did not warm up
14. Loneliness
15. Giving eating up
16. The second contact
17. The result
18. Anesthesia
19. The neighbour
20. Unusual salvation
21. Unexpected guests
22. The poltergeist
23. A car accident
24. An angel
25. Stella
26. Stella-2. Harold
27. Stella-3. Axel
28. Stella-4. The astral world
29. Stella-5. Svetilo. The hell. Izolda
30. Stella-6. The mental world
31. Vaya. Other worlds
32. My parents
33. The surprise
34. Sorrow
35. Isidora
36. Isidora-2. Rome
37. Isidora-3. Meteora
38. Isidora-4. The Loss
39. Isidora-5. The Darkness
40. Isidora-6. Svetodar
41. Isidora-7. The Cathars
42. Isidora-8. The Key of Gods
43. Isidora-9. The loss of Anna. The woman Warrior
44. Isidora-10. Vidomir. The sleeping Kings